This is what Baron Baptiste says about that: “There is a lot of value in being willing to completely come apart. We can give up the illusion that everything is okay and that we can control anything, and begin our true spiritual work.” This is what I say about that: It’s painful, difficult, and scary. I’d rather not ever come apart but stay put together and have my life unfold exactly how I planned.
But life doesn’t happen that way. For some reason it’s designed to come apart, to remind us that we’re not in control, to bring us to a place of such discomfort that letting go is what we want to do. This process is a central part of our human experience. If it weren’t, we wouldn’t constantly be asked to do it, again and again. And there must be something amazing in the “letting go” – more freedom, more joy, more love.
We delay this possibility when we avoid the difficult situation, person, conversation. Our first and often fiftieth response is to move away from it and distract ourselves from the pain – whether that’s by sleeping, eating too much or too little, being angry, scrolling through Facebook. We are good at creating distractions.
What would your life look like if you moved toward the pain instead of away from it? If you sought out the difficult conversation, moved closer to the heartache or despair, accepted the truth about yourself or others? There’s a phrase in yoga: “The only way out is through.” And, “You know when you found the pose when you want to get out of it.” That’s when the real work begins. And that’s when you learn that everything actually gets easier when you relax into it.
Be willing to be in the “pose.” Breathe into the discomfort. Be willing to come apart. You’ll come back together again, I promise. And what’s created will be a much better you and life than you can imagine.